Nonviolent Communication

Sat, 28 Feb 2026 00:00:00 +0000

One of the most important things I’ve learned in the last 2 years has been Nonviolent Communication - which, fundamentally, isn’t about what you say to others.

It’s about how to think inside your own head.

And the way you talk to others affects that.

When I read Marshall Rosenberg’s book on the topic, I thought it was basically a 4 step process:

Name the objective things that happened without judgement (“when you said X”, “when the glass fell over”, “when I saw the PR submitted on a Friday after 4:00pm”)
Name the feeling you had (“I was worried”, “I was startled and frustrated”, “I was puzzled”)
Name the need you have (“because I need Y”, “because I have a need for order”, “because I need agreements we reach to be honored”)
Make the request (“would you be willing to Z?”, “would you be willing to change out our glasses to plastic ones?”, “would you be willing to commit to not releasing after noon on a Friday?”)

And all those things sound really nice. They sound like they’re going to do a bang up job of sounding awkward and pissing off the people who don’t like to hear therapist speak.

Nonviolent-Communication on Bridge

Nonviolent Communication