Over the last several months I, like many people, have found value in chatting with AI chat bots. I find myself giving them information and asking for insights, analysis, perspectives and support. In order to get most of those things, I have learned how to speak in very specific terms to them. The more I do this, the more I realize that we might be able to learn something about how to speak to each other from how we are required to speak to AI in order to get results.
I think there are several things we give to AI bots that we often resist giving to the people closest to us because we believe they know them or at least hope they do: shared terminology (definitions), context, expectations, and curiosity without ego.
Shared terminology is something we don’t want to do with other humans. I want to assume that when I say “take out the trash” – that the other person knows what “trash” am talking about, that they know where to take it, and that they know how to handle it. Those are reasonable things but sometimes I can get into situations at work or home where I am saying one thing and my colleagues or family members are hearing something else.
When I talk to an AI, I understand that I need to define the terms. That I need to specify where things go… or the AI might guess. Sometimes the AI asks, and that’s great! That shows me (often) that I am not giving enough detail and that I am making assumptions.
Context is another big one. The thing that feels the most intimate to me in the world is when something happens around our dinner table–maybe our kids say something or make some reference–and we both look at each other. We both know that the other person is thinking about that one line in that one movie that is funny but entirely inappropriate to say out loud. When we’re at our best, we don’t need to provide context because we know both what we know and what the other person knows. But sometimes this backfires. “You know what I need from you!” is pleading for the other person to have all of the con
What am I not saying here, though? I’m not saying we should talk to humans like they are robots. I am saying we can learn from how we talk to AI chatbots and take those lessons to communicate better with humans.
Main Point – AI Reveals Communication Gaps
How prompting machines exposes habits that weaken clarity and connection with people.
Define Terms Explicitly Early
Shared language prevents confusion, resentment, and unnecessary emotional escalation.
Provide Context Before Conclusions
Background shapes meaning; without it, others guess and often guess wrong.
Set Expectations Up Front
State desired outcomes, tone, and constraints instead of assuming mind-reading.
Iterate With Curiosity, Not Blame
Refine misunderstandings collaboratively rather than reacting defensively.